Friends?
by Nette
Summary: Carter goes through a hard time and Abby helps him - based on spoilers for 10.21!


**Rating**: PG  
**Spoilers**: Yep. This is based on spoilers for 10.21 – "Midnight" .. Summary and Author's Notes also contain spoilers!   
**Summary**: Carter loses his baby and Abby helps him through that time.   
**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything … ; )   
**Feedback**: Sure, I'd love to know what you think! nette_mails@yahoo.de or use the review button. ; )   
**Author's Notes**: I'm still supposed to be spoiler free .. but as usual things slipped through .. and I know Carter's baby will die. I also know a bit about how .. but not everything. So if you read spoilers you'll notice that things are a little different here.   
I also started writing this a while ago .. but I tried to make most parts fit with what happened in the episodes that already aired up to 10.20 – "Abby Normal" ..   
It starts at the end of 10.14 – "Impulse Control" and focuses on Abby and Carter getting back their friendship while Carter is going through a hard time over the loss of his baby. The "problem" is .. this is all I wrote so far .. but I want to go on and thought that maybe a few thoughts on it would inspire me .. or make me stop. ; )   
Sorry for the long explanation .. but it's a bit complicated .. ; )   
If I didn't scare you off I hope you'll enjoy reading! ; )   
Thank you Jo for beta reading! : )   
  
  
  
**"Friends?" **  
  
  
I'm still deep in thought after I said goodbye to Sam, heading back to the hospital.   
  
I can't believe I told someone. It was more for _her_ comfort than for mine .. but it still helped to talk to someone who pretty much went through the same thoughts – just with a different outcome ..   
  
I hardly notice any of the faces crossing my way to the lounge.   
It's only when I'm already at my locker that I notice Carter sitting on the bench, looking a little distraught, staring at his feet. I feel like I should say something.   
  
"Hey," I say carefully.   
His head jerks up and he looks at me. I guess he was deep in thought as well and didn't notice that someone joined him. I startled him.   
"Hey," he finally answers, looking down to the floor again.   
  
It's not really any of my business and it would probably be better for me to stay out of his problems, but I decide to ask him anyway – he was my best friend once. And I feel like I do at least have to ask.   
  
We hardly talked since he came back, but I can't change that I still care about him. "Is .. anything wrong?"   
  
He looks up again slowly and shrugs his shoulders. "Kem left for Africa."   
I nod, though I'm confused. She's pregnant with his baby after all. And Africa isn't exactly the safest place on earth. I'm surprised that he lets her go there alone .. unless .. "I didn't know .. will you .. will you go back, too?" I'm trying to tell myself that I don't care. But it's not working. I don't want him to go back.   
Luckily he shakes his head. "No. She'll come back in a few weeks. But ..," he begins, but stops mid sentence. I think I know what he wanted to say, though.   
"But you miss her?"   
  
His focus shifts from my face to the locker behind me. "I .. she's pregnant and she'll show soon. I won't feel the baby kick for the first time. I won't be able to talk to the baby, to rub her belly .. just to be close to her during these important months. I ..," he begins again but doesn't finish his sentence once more. "I really shouldn't bother you with that, I'm sorry," he says instead and looks down at his feet again.   
  
He's right. I'm not fond of stories about his relationship with Kem right now. But I see what he means. And that it hurts him. It's not the same as it was for me. But god knows I'd give a lot to turn back the time .. to be able to keep the baby – my baby, to feel it moving. But that's in the past. All I can do is to try to comfort him now.   
  
"That's okay," I tell him, sitting down next to him. "She'll be back soon," is all I can think of to say. Lame, I know. But there's not much I could tell him.   
He just nods, sighs deeply and moves to get up. "I should go home."   
"Wait," I say quickly, taking a hold of his arm. I can't just let him go home alone like this. I don't want to. Not in his state of mind. I want to make him think of other things.   
  
We both look down and stare at my hand on his arm for a moment before I let go of him. To my surprise – I see a smile on his face. And there's probably one on mine, too. I feel as comfortable in his presence as I didn't in a long time. But at the same time it's a little awkward to be so close to him.   
  
"Listen .. I'm on a break now. Do you .. want to go over to Ike's?" I ask him nervously.   
He looks up and stares into my eyes for a moment before he nods. "Okay."   
  
***  
  
We're sitting at a small table in a quiet corner at Ike's now – in silence – neither of us knowing what to say.   
  
I'm looking down at the napkin in my hands I'm fiddling with.   
I can tell he's nervous, too. I can hear his foot tapping under the table.   
It seems to take forever for the waitress to show up.   
  
Suddenly I feel his eyes on me. "So ... this is where you're going now?" he asks and smiles while he looks at me. But I know it's fake. It's a smile to pretend that he's fine. But I know better.   
  
I look at him, too now. "Yeah, this is where we're going now."   
He nods. Is this small talk really the best we can come up with? But it's a start. It's more than we talked since he's back.   
  
"Do you go here often?"   
I shake my head. "Not really. I used to come here sometimes with Elizabeth on my OR rotation. Sometimes I come here with Sam. Or with Neela. We study together from time to time."   
  
"So many new people," he says and shakes his head.   
"Yeah, a lot changed while you were gone."   
  
He nods again. "How's it going? Do you like being back in med school?"   
I nod. "It's tough. Especially with the shifts as a nurse I still have to take. It wouldn't work otherwise. I need the money. But it's good to be back. I really want to make it – get it right."   
"You'll do great, trust me," he says and smiles at me reassuringly – a genuine smile this time. "I always thought you should go back."   
  
I just smile, holding back what's in my head. That it was _him_ who made me go. Or better, the letter he wrote to me. But it's not the right time to bring this up.   
  
He sighs after another moment of silence between us. "I miss Doc Magoo's," he says and gives me a nervous smile. "I can't believe it's gone."   
I nod. "Me neither."   
"This is not the same."   
I shake my head. "But it's new. We're not used to it yet. It has potential to become like Doc Magoo's. Give it some time."   
He nods. "It can't really replace it, though. Too many memories ..."   
"No, I miss it, too. But we'll have new memories with this place soon. You'll see, we'll feel like there was never anything else before we know it."   
"I guess we'll have to," he chuckles slightly. "There's no way we could get it back. The fire destroyed everything. Too much happened ... " he trails off and sighs.   
  
Suddenly we both realize that we are not really talking about the diner anymore.   
I'm relieved when the waitress finally approaches our table, looking at me expectantly.   
"Anything I can bring you?"   
"Yeah, a coffee please. Black, no sugar."   
She scribbles my order on her little note book before she turns to Carter.   
"I'd like a coffee as well and ... " he pauses for a moment and gives me a smile. "Do you have pie?"   
The waitress nods. "We have apple pie."   
"Coffee and apple pie then."   
The waitress just nods again and leaves.   
  
"I didn't know they have pie," I say with a smile.   
"They do. It's not that different from Doc Magoo's."   
I shake my head and smile when our eyes lock for a moment. I'm relieved that the awkwardness is replaced by familiarity.   
  
Before we know it the waitress is back with our orders and Carter picks up the spoon to eat his apple pie.   
  
I smile when I watch him, having a closer look at him for the first time since he's back. He seems a lot better now, in a much better mood. And it's good to see his face again now that the beard is gone.   
  
"Is it good?" I ask him nodding towards his pie.   
He nods with a smile. "Almost as good as at Doc Magoo's," he tells me after he swallowed another bite.   
  
He keeps looking at me and I can't take me eyes off of him either.   
"Friends?" he asks carefully.   
I smile. "Friends."   
  
~~~  
  
"So Chen called you tonight?" I ask while I take a sip of my coffee.   
He nods. "Yeah, her father fell. She's really having a hard time since her mother died."   
This time _I_ nod. "Yeah, it was so sudden. I hope she'll find someone to take care of him. She won't be able to do it alone."   
He nods again. "Kem wasn't thrilled to be awoken by the phone ringing in the middle of the night," he chuckles. "She's glad when she gets any sleep at all. It's not easy for her to find sleep lately."   
  
I give him a smile. "I bet."   
He seems to notice that Kem and the baby still aren't my favourite subjects – even after all the weeks since we talk again.   
He mentioned her every now and then while he helped me to study or while we were having coffee here. But he always kept it to a minimum.   
  
And like now he just changes the subject. "So you're having trouble paying your tuition?"   
I shake my head and roll my eyes slightly. "I'm doing fine, Carter. I just need more nursing shifts. That's all."   
"I can talk to Weaver if you want ..," he offers.   
"Thank you. But I'll do that myself. You're already helping me enough by going through the tons of books I have to know by heart way too soon."   
  
"You'll do great," he smiles at me reassuringly.   
I smile back at him. "I know," I answer him with a wink.   
  
***  
  
"How's Harley?"   
I jump slightly as I stand at my locker in the lounge, startled by his voice.   
I turn around to look at him. "God, Carter. You scared me."   
He just gives me a smile. "Sorry."   
"And who is Harley?"   
  
He walks over to me and leans against his locker as he watches me put on my lab coat.   
"Harley, your boyfriend. The guy on the bike."   
  
I can't help but see a hint of jealousy in his eyes.   
"His name is not Harley."   
"Oh .. I just thought Harley would fit .. like in _Harley Davidson_," he chuckles.   
I give him a look. "This is not funny, Carter. And he's not my boyfriend."   
"But you're going out since last week."   
"We're not going out _since_ last week. We went out once."   
"Only once?" he asks, raising his eyebrow.   
I roll my eyes. "Yes, only once."   
"Why?"   
  
I close my locker and look at him. "When did I agree to play twenty questions with you? I don't see how this could be any of your business."   
He shrugs his shoulders and shifts uncomfortably – he seems a little embarrassed.   
"And he's an idiot, that's why," I add before he can say anything. He almost seems relieved. What on earth does he want from me?   
  
"How's Kem?" I decide to ask. That seems to be the best way to bring him back to reality since I have no idea where he is right now. And I don't want to be reminded of the farce that my meeting with Gary was.   
It works. "She's doing good. We expect the baby to be born at any minute now."   
I give him a smile. "That must be exciting."   
He nods. And I don't know what else to say.   
  
"I'm sorry, but I should start working now .. The money to pay you back won't appear on my bank account just like that," I tell him with a wink.   
"Abby, I told you that you don't have to ..," he begins. But we get interrupted by Chuny.   
  
"Carter, they brought Kem in. Trauma two," she informs him before she leaves the room again – leaving me with Carter alone.   
  
He turns his head and just stares at me – frozen to the spot.   
I don't know what to do or what to say either.   
  
"Carter," I say, walking over to him, putting my hand in his arm. "Let's go see how she's doing, what happened."   
He stares at me before he seems to snap out of his trance.   
Before I know it he storms out of the room and I follow him.   
  
I can hardly keep up with his pace as he runs towards trauma two.   
He storms into the room closely followed by me when he comes to a sudden halt.   
We both see Kem on the table, unconscious.   
  
"What's wrong? What's wrong with the baby?" he asks frantically, trying to reach the table, but I get a hold of his arm and keep him at a distance. He'll only keep them from saving her.   
  
"Abby, get him out of here," Weaver tells me.   
But it's easier said than done.   
"We'll do all we can, Carter," she adds in a softer voice and it seems to calm him down a little. If anyone knows what he's going through now, then it's Weaver.   
  
I take a firmer hold of his arm and guide him outside, back to the lounge. I'm thankful that it's empty and that we are alone.   



End file.
